Haiku Movie Review, 9/24/09

The Informant

If Soderbergh farts
into a high-def cam'ra,
crits will still piss selves

Julia Roberts disrupts Indian worshippers shooting her new piece o' piffle

You'd be real mean if
a huge alien worm lived
in your forehead, too...

Megan Fox has 'Sexual Superpowers'

Maybe she can use

'em to help me recall what

the Hell she looks like

Fish-in-a-Barrel Time, Just 'Cause: Catching up with Bai Ling

If I had a dime

for ev'ry nip slip, I could

buy Oprah's soul, babe.

Transformers Crew Slams Megan Fox

I still can't pick this
flat-abbed Barbie Doll out of
a police line-up

Haiku Movie Review, 8/28/09

Taking Woodstock

Be nice to Snoopy's
little yellow buddy, you
damn smelly hippies

Haiku Movie Review mach 2, 8/28/09

Inglourious Basterds

I love Quentin T
enough to put up with Pitt's
crappy hick accent

Rotten Tomatoes Rips my Ass Off, maybe

If you're gonna steal
from the Master, at least nick
some laughs, Chuckleheads...

Diana Ross may get custody of Michael Jackson's children

She'll be a great mom

'cept when she eats viscera
in front of the kids...

Ten Movies'll be Vying for Best Picture Oscar in 2010

Thank God! That means that
Madea Goes to Jail could
take home Oscar GOLD!!

Haiku Movie Review, 6/24/09

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (again)

Will Megan Fox's
over-firm ass turn into
a car or something?

Haiku Movie Review, 6/24/09

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

LaBeefaroni
retreats back to a franchise
he did not help kill

Haiku Movie Review Deux, 6/20/09

Year One

Caveman looks like George
Bernard Shaw compared to this
fossilized li'l turd

Haiku Movie Review, 6/20/09

The Proposal

Cannuck Editor
Dame! Maybe the Deadpool Boy
can marry your ass

Haiku Movie Review Part Deux, 6/13/09

Imagine That

Keep gumming at that
cinematic oatmeal, Old
Comic Geezer Man

Haiku Movie Review, 6/12/09

The Taking of Pelham 123

The first one? A cup
of New York joe. The new one?
Jolt Cola, no fizz.

Christopher Lee Knighted!

Show some respect: You'll
need to refer to him as
SIR Dracula now

Bret Michaels' Clock Cleaned at Emmy Awards

It's about damn time
someone got him to peel off
that cheesy-assed hat

Haiku Movie Review 5/28/09, Warp Factor 2

Up


A smart, quality
animated flick? Pixar
must think we're all chumps...

Haiku Movie Review 5/28/09, Phase 1

Drag Me to Hell


Hey, Mac Guy--if your
Mac is so great, why can't it
delete demon hags?