Haiku Movie Review, 6/22/08

The Love Guru

Nothing fuels cosmic

enlightenment like a few

fart and penis jokes

Haiku Movie Review, 6/19/08

Get Smart

At least it's better
than that putrescent poop pile,
Evan Almighty

R Kelly Cleared of Child Porn Charges

Guess R's a shoo-in
for that guest shot on Hannah
Montana right now...

Kung Fu Panda Cruelly Mocks Sensitive Demographic

It'll just make fat

bears with no Kung Fu skills feel

really insecure

Haiku Movie Review, 6/6/08

You Don't Mess with the Zohan

Can I get big bucks

for doing a Borat voice

in a crappy wig?

Ode to Bullitt: Film Nerd Haiku times Three

Hitmen in black gloves

glower, tearing up pavement

as McQueen gives chase

Mustang on Charger

like a supersonic fly

on Turbo-Charged Sh#t...

Squealing tires, real cars:

The Fast and the Furious

can kiss my tailpipe

(image used with kind permission from 14's Gallery of the Absurd website)

Speed Racer Movie Flops: Insert Car Crash Pun Here

Chimps in beanies and

seizure-inducing colors

AREN'T box office gold??!

Haiku Movie Review, 6/3/08

Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Casper the Friendly Ghost or Something

Diet Lord of the

Rings, with a pretty boy and

a big talking cat