Heather Mills rewrites the Beatles' 'Glass Onion'

Here's a twenty-four

million-pound clue for you all:

The Wallet was Paul's

Dawn 'Mary Ann' Wells Rides the Hookah Highway

I thought that it was

the mascara that made her

eyes so frickin' red

Haiku Movie Review, 3/11/08

10,000 BC

Pretty cave stud--Fight
those mammoths, but don't muss your
perfect li'l dreadlocks

Haiku Movie Review, 3/7/08

Semi-Pro

See the dead horsie

named 'Man-Boy Schtick." Flog that corpse,

Will Farrell--FLOG IT!!

Haiku Movie Review, 3/7/08

The Spiderwick Chronicles

I liked Spiderwick
better when he wore tights and
kicked Green Goblin's ass

Haiku Movie Review, 2/29/2008

Penelope

Wednesday Addams plays
Posh Spice, only with cheaper
clothes and less make-up

Pauly Shore and Wes Craven are a'feudin'!

Man who makes films 'bout

dead guys gets sued by The Thing

with The Dead Career

Haiku Movie Review, 2/2/2008

Over Her Dead Body



Walking Makeup Stain

dies, then her ghost picks on that

Boston Legal dame

Haiku Movie Review, 1/26/08

Cloverfield

Big Monster devours
obnoxious twenty-somethings.
...And this is bad, how?

Haiku Movie Review, 1/26/2008

The Bucket List

The movie might stink

less if it came inside a

colostomy bag

Miley Cyrus, Irritating Tween-Sensation Freak

No human is she:
Her carrot-munching bunny
lips scare me spitless

Guest Haiku: Birthday Greetings to Gallery of the Absurd's 14 from Paris Hilton

Haiku Movie Review, 12/13/07

The Golden Compass


The Coke Polar Bear
is a heretic: He eats
Cath'lics for lunch. Yum!

Haiku to an Extra-Unpleasant Breeder, part 1

Out with swollen t!ts

in public like some bovine;

cover em, Breeder

Haiku Movie Review, 11/16/07

Beowulf

Hey--they got some great
voice talent for this here new
Playstation 3 game

The Hollywood Writers Strike Hits Home for Haiku Composer

If this cuts into


new Cavemen episodes, it's


razor-to-wrist time

The Great Masses Weigh in on the Writers Guild Strike

Snottypance riters
hu needz yu i onlee wotch
reallutee showse

Dork arrested for stealing Indy 4 secrets could've fared worse...

If he'd have opened

that Indy 4 Zip file, his

face woulda melted

Haiku Movie Review, 11/2/07

Martian Child

Martin Blank would kick

milksop John Cusack's ass in

a Grosse Pointe minute

Feedback from the Current Administration re: Gore's Laurels

Leader of the Free
World eloquently weighs in
on Gore's Nobel Prize